First came the games. Then came the summoning. Now comes... the printing.

If you, like many of us in the Cult of Cardboard, are not a “beach person,” this post is for you. We offer here a lifeline, nay, a tether to sanity, so that when the family flocks to the ocean, you stay cool, calculating, and at least one step ahead of madness.

The time when tens of thousands descend like a glorious horde upon the great citadels of cardboard: UK Games Expo in Birmingham, and the untamed beast, Gen Con in Indianapolis.

The sun is out, the grills are going, and every retail aisle tries to convince you that now is the time for lawn darts and badminton. But let’s be honest, there are only so many bug bites and sunscreen-slathered afternoons one can take before the soul yearns for something... darker.